|| fuckin' emo
The sooner I accept the things in my life I cannot change, the happier I'll be.
I sobbed a little on Tuesday on the subway ride home while listening to Camera Obscura's Come Back Margaret. It was so strange. I never cried to that song before, but when the line "In dreams I try to take you far away..." came on, a tear went down. What made things worse was the song that played on my MP3 player after "Come Back Margaret" was Eisley's I Wasn't Prepared. That song combination, combined with my depressing mood proved to be a lethal combination.
Once I got off the train, I called Sylvia in an emotional mess. It was probably bad timing since she was in the gym, all glad to be on her way to becomming fit, but here I am to be a killjoy. Anyway, I say to her, "OMG, I just started sobbing for no effing reason! I mean, I've listened to this song so many times, and it just hit me like a truck now."
She answers, "You know Jane, it's because you have a vagina and with that comes times where you will be just emotional for no apparent reason."
I answer with a "Yeah, I guess."
She then goes, "Or you could just be lonely."
Yeah, it is totally that.
Well, yesterday (Wednesday) I planned on spending the day to mope on my own so that by Thursday (today) I'd be less sad. About halfway through my paper for my SEDC 211 class, Tatiana called me to go loiter around because she apparently had nothing better to do. I did have errands to run for my puppetry class, so I figured it wouldn't be too bad to have a taller person to reach for all the out of reach things in Michael's (arts and craft store).
Stepping outside for a bit was a bit better than being cooped up alone. I ended up buying poster board, brass fasteners, wire, and an X-Acto knife. It was quite amusing because I did not know that identification was required to get an X-acto knife.
I found awfully therapeutic to cut out puppet pieces with an X-Acto knife while listening to Belle and Sebastian's album If You're Feeling Sinister and being totally baked. I felt quite okay and mellow.
Today started out all right. It ended all right. The middle was all right. Yet, I still feel a bit down.